In the Wake of the Rally to Restore Sanity

Well, Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert pulled it off.  They held their Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear on the Mall in Washington DC on October 30th, 2010.  I wasn’t able to attend it in person, but Comedy Central aired it (commercial free), live that morning.  I was entertained by the first 2.5 hours, and moved by the last 30 minutes of it.  That balance (in retrospect) seems about right, but watching the convention, I kept wanting Stewart to get to the damn point already.  Still, at the end of the day, I thought it was a great event and had a great message:  That the political extremists on both sides of the isle have hijacked this country, and we the sane need to take it back.  Our main stream media does little more but fuel the fire, just so they can stir the pot and make news out of it.  Our Media spends all it’s time focusing on the extreme, the sensational, and the most controversial stories they can find, often blowing them out of proportion, if not not lying about them altogether, and at the end of the day that is hurting America.

Here’s a prime example of this phenomenon, I just picked this up off of a friend’s Facebook Wall.  Apparently, the president is headed to India for a G20 conference.  An un-credited, anonymous source in INDIA has claimed that the president is going to be traveling with 3000 people, will rent out the entire Taj Mahal hotel, and will spend over $200 million dollars a day on the trip.  Factcheck.org did the math on this as part of their investigative work.  Apparently, it only costs $190 million dollars a day to run the war in Afghanistan, so the idea that a small state visit would exceed that cost is pretty far fetched.  The white house has categorically denied the claims, but they can’t put forth the real numbers for fear of letting the wrong people know important details about the president’s security detail while he’s overseas.  Most conventional wisdom points to an error in the translation, and that the Indian reporter meant 200 million rupees a day, which translates to about 5 million US Dollars a day.  That figure is much more in line with what a presidential trip should cost, based on figures from the Bush and Clinton administrations. 

However, Rush Limbaugh got a hold of this and blasted it all over the American radio.  Of course, all he focused on was the $200 million dollar a day figure.  Then Glen Beck added in that he would be taking 34 warships and an aircraft carrier (which, by the way, would be about 10% of the entire US Navy).  Neither man would list his source, or perform the most basic fact checking.  Instead, they are riling up the American people against the President’s flagrant waste of Tax Payer’s Dollars...  How is this helping America?  It’s not.  It’s helping Rush, and Beck, and their supporters.  When Fox News pulls the same stunts, they aren’t doing it to help the people, they are doing it to help their stock holders and their Republican Buddies.  When MSNBC (who is actively trying to emulate Fox News now, but for the Democrats instead) pull the same moves, it’s not to help the people but to help their ratings, their stock holders, and get a little more air time for the democrats.  I could rant about that move from MSNBC for awhile, but I wont… I’ll just chalk it up to fighting fire with fire, and move on.  At least MSNBC is fighting for the little guys, not the big and powerful… but that’s a rant for another time.  Even CNN, which does a reasonable job of being moderate and trying to represent both sides, resorts to sensationalist reporting to grab people’s attention.  Steven Colbert drew attention to this at the rally, when he awarded Anderson Cooper’s tight black tee-shirt one of his Fear awards.

In looking over all the major players in the Mainstream Media, a trend becomes painfully obvious, coming from all sides of the landscape.  The media has long since lost their ‘journalist integrity’…  they lost it the day that the networks decided that news shows needed to be profitable.  The day that the people in charge put profits over proper reporting, the media ceased being a reliable source of news and became no better than the politicians they are covering.  Think about it… Most people would agree that it’s wrong for a politician to take money from a lobbyist group and then legislate in favor of those lobbyists.  How is it any better for the media to take advertising money from the same corporations, and be expected to report fairly on news based around those corporations, especially when it involves corruption in Washington?  I lost the last of my illusions on that matter while watching the BP Oil Spill coverage on CNN.  Every night, Anderson Cooper would rail BP for their bullshit in the gulf, hitting them especially hard for the millions of dollars they spent on their PR campaign while refusing to pay the locals… but the very next day, those same BP commercials were being aired on CNN, DURING AC360.  I don’t fault Cooper for that, but if the network, CNN, is willing to take ad money from BP, how can we be expected to trust that they are going to give a fair report of BP’s actions?

The problem is worse that all that, though…  If ratings are king, and sensationalism gets ratings, how do you drum up your sensationalism?  Easy… you take a note from the grocery store tabloids and you lie through your teeth!  Either through active deception (i.e. saying something you know isn’t true), or regurgitating facts that no one on your staff has bothered to fact check, you can deceive your audience.  The India trip debacle has gotten so far out of hand that members of Congress are going on national news programs and calling the president out on this ‘wasteful spending’.  One senator was on AC360 last week to discuss how the Republicans are going to trim the budget in the House.  Instead of talking about that, she tried to change the topic from reducing Medicare costs to the India Trip, and Anderson had to lay the smack down on her for it.  Fox news is so good at lying on the air that they’ve gone to court over it.  The result of that lawsuit and similar suites like it is that Fox News can legally lie on the air, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Of course, without the media, how are any of us going to know what the hell is going on?  And if the Media can say whatever the fuck they want and not be held accountable for it, they how can we believe what we hear?  It’s a never ending spiral of lies and blame and bullshit that does nothing but hurt this country and the people who live here.  It’s gotten to the point that I almost can’t bear to watch the news anymore, even on CNN.  I’m not alone, either… and I think it’s a big part of why Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert are the 2 most trusted sources of news on Television today.  As much as I like those 2 guys, this is not the way it should be!  What happened to the folks like Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, and Walter Cronkite?  What can we do to get our news media back to the way it was?

Well, I think the first solution is to pass legislation that forces News organizations to fact check stories they put out there, and clearly labels opinions and unproven ‘facts’ as such.  This goes for everyone, from Fox to CNN to MSNBC, even NPR:  If you want to call yourself a NEWS show, you have to be reporting honestly.  Just forcing the media to tell the truth about situations will go a long way towards clearing the air.  I’m not saying that news shows can’t or shouldn’t have opinions, or pundits, or commentators, or analysts… those folks are there to help explain what's going on and what it means to the rest of us.  Fine, I can live with that.  But what I can’t stomach are ‘News’ shows that spend hours analyzing, debating, and propagating stories (like the India trip) that are complete falsehoods.

The other solution to the problem is to remove the motivation for news shows to pander to their supporters.  National News Organizations that are privately funded are ultimately motivated by their sponsors and their revenu money.  I don’t believe that a news show can be truly objective in that situation.  I would like to see publicly funded news organizations, prohibited from receiving private capital and forced to fact check the stories they report on.  Everything else has to be labeled as opinion pieces, and prohibited from being called ‘News Organizations’.  I know that idea will never fly, but it’s the only way I can think of to remove the driving force of the Media to put their ratings over their integrity. 

The reason it would never fly is that a publicly funded newscast would wind up being boring.  Beyond the obvious lack of the outlandish stories that are the mainstream media’s bread and butter, these networks would have to work with a limited budget.  Fox wouldn’t be able to hire analysts like Karl Rove and Sarah Palin, or hire talk show hosts like Glen Beck.  MSNBC would have similar issue (although, given his crusader like mentality, I think Keith Olberman would keep working).  CNN wouldn’t be able to keep buying those nifty (and completely useless) technological toys, like their 3D holograms and Wall-O-Bricks charts.  News would go back to the way it was in the 60’s, with a couple of anchors behind a desk, reporting on the stories, with the occasional editorial or opinion piece off to the side and on the scene reports for big events.  Personally, I would love it.  We would learn more and there would be a lot less anger and hatred between the right and left in the country.  Unfortunately, most American’s don’t give a fuck about learning more, they want to be entertained, they want to fight, and they need someone to blame for things they dislike.  So, we’ve allowed our news channels to become a source of entertainment, and let ourselves get into the mess we’re in now.

Obviously, I’m going to have to fix this, when the world is mine…
--Crash

How Twilight ends, in my World…

So, a friend on facebook put out a link recently where Anne Rice gave a verbal Bitchslap to Stephanie Myers, over how terribad Twilight is. That prompted a conversation about what would happen if Lestat and Edward went toe to toe in a no holds bar death match. Here's my original reply:

As for weapons: Silver rapiers. Fight should last about 3 seconds, in favor of LeStat. Then Blade rolls up and has a proper swashbuckling duel with Lestat, before eventually getting tired of the fight and pulling out his guns. Blade smokes Lestat then bitch slaps Bella on principle. Hollywood makes it into a summer blockbuster and makes millions, and everybody wins!

However, I think I can do a little better…

Edward, tired of being called a pussy and made fun of for being the prettiest sparkling vampire, finally decided to do something about it. He tracked down the Vampire Lestat, and arranged a meeting. Edward knew that the only way he would ever get any respect in this world was for him to beat down one of the big guns in the underworld. So, Edward planed on challenging Lestat to a duel for the affections of all the little vampire goth girls across the country…

Lestat met with Edward just before Dawn, and sure enough, Edward challenged the Vampire Lestat to a duel. Lestat, more for wanting something to do than anything else, accepted this duel gladly. As the vampire being challenged, Lestat had the honor of choosing the weapons of the duel, and true to his foppish roots, he immediately went for his trusty rapier. He provided a similar weapon to Edward, laughing to himself as he watched Edward try to figure out which was the pointy end. The duel ended almost before it began, as Lestat easily disarmed Edward, before dis-ARM-ing him…

Watching from the shadows, he saw his chance. As Lestat was busy laughing at Edward's best impersonation of the Monty Python Black Knight, Blade dropped out of the shadows, sword drawn, and intercepted Lestat's next strike. Blade was a little surprised at how skilled with the sword Lestat was, but this didn't overly concern him. That just made it interesting. The duel raged on for almost half an hour, with Lestat having managed to score more than a couple of glancing hits on Blade. Finally, tired of the game, Blade said 'Fuck this!  Hey asshole! Welcome to the 21st century!', pulling out his fully automatic hand cannon and filling Lestat full of silver hollow points.

Selene walked in just in time to see Lestat's end. She was distraught over her recent breakup with that two-timing half-vampire/half-werewolf Corvin. It was all for the best though, he always wound up smelling like wet dog…  She had hoped to blow off a little steam with Lestat (that little man-whore was always good for a roll in the hay) so the scene she walked in on was a bit of a surprise. As Blade began to move towards her, sword drawn, Selene politely asked him what he was doing. 'Killing vampires, obviously!', replied Blade. 'Oh', said Selene… 'Don't let me get in your way, I was just passing through'. She casually walked through an errant sunbeam of early dawn light peeking in from the nearby window, to prove to Blade that she was no ordinary Vampire. 'Fancy a cup of coffee when you're done?', she asked him.

Bella got there just after Blade and Selene left. She saw the carnage in the room before finally laying eyes on Edward's armless torso writhing around on the ground in the shadows at the far side of the room. Grief stricken and consumed by sadness, she ran over to Edward and began crying like a little bitch. She began fumbling with his limbs, trying uselessly to reattach them to Edward, who had managed to slump himself against the wall. As Bella broke down into another round of sobbing, Edward suddenly got a panic stricken look on his (paler than normal) sparkling face… Bella turned around and saw Blade and Selene standing in the doorway, laughing at them!

"What, you fuckers didn't think we forgot about you, did you?" Both Blade and Selene raised their respective handguns and proceeded to fill Edward and Bella with so much lead you could use them for a pencil! Laughing, they turned and left. "You know, I know some folks in Hollywood… I bet we could make a mint with this.  I wonder if Michael Bay is available…", Selene said as they walked off into the sunlight… 

And that… is how Twilight should have ended.

Dragon*Con 2010

So, I finally made it back to Dragon*Con this year!  This is a good thing, as I really needed a vacation.  Andy and MSG had a room for me, which I shared with my old friend Marie and one of Andy and MSG’s friends named Alan.  I’ve met Alan before and all was cool, so I knew the room situation would be to my liking.  We were on the second floor of the International tower of the Hyatt, and that was an incredible room.  As usual, I brought way more stuff than we needed, on the off chance that it would prove useful.  As it turns out, we ate about 2/3 of the food I brought, used some portion of all of the supplies I brought (even pulls some meds out of my first aid kit), and we never found ourselves *needing* something for our visit.  Even if I caught some flack for over packing, I think the benefits of that outweighed the ribbing.

The trip there was kind of a bitch… my phone was being a real pain the whole way, and that had my GPS and navigation info on it, so finding the hotel was kind of a pain in the ass.  Parking was $75 for the weekend, and I had to park a block and a half away from the hotel, which made getting my gear too and from the room difficult.  Then there was the 4 hour wait in the muggy Atlanta evening before I got my con badge.  After that wait, in which a very nice fellow con-goer took pity on me and bought me a bottle of water to stave off heat exhaustion, I made it back to the hotel where Marie and Alan helped me unload the car.  We called it a night and got ready for the con to start bright and early on Friday!

I made it to more panels than I expected too, including one on Eureka and one on Warehouse 13.  MB Weston’s panel on Zombies vs. Unicorns was a hilarious group debate, and Cherie Priest’s reading and discussion about her Clockwork Century books was lots of fun.  I was a bit disappointed to see the DC Universe Online panel canceled, but I got a Beta Key for the game anyway, and have already given it away to my buddy Bobby, who’s dying to play it.  I didn’t make it to the Eureka/Warehouse 13 crossover panel, but between the other 2 panels and what I saw on DCTV, I got enough of a fix of both shows to be happy.  I really like the actors behind both shows, and it was really nice to see them out of character and talking as real people.  Also, Erica Cera (Jo Lupo, from Eureka) was crazy Hot in person.

The real fun of Dragon Con is rolling around the crowds, admiring the costumes and meeting up with old friends or making new ones.  I new the costume watching was off to a good start when the first group of people I saw was a Deadpool Universe group!

Thos of you who know me, know that I’m a huge Deadpool fan, so this sort of set the stage for me and the crowd over the weekend.  I took about 160 pictures total, and Andy, Marie, and Alan all took as many more themselves.  I need to get their collections…. Alan got a good shot of the entire Ironettes group, with Rhodie and Tony Stark.  I also somehow missed the bad ass War Machine costume rolling around the con.  However, of all the pictures I took at the con, this one is my favorite, showcasing some of the top badguys from the recent Batman Arkam Asylum game:

Predictably, I was blown away by that Harley Quinn costume.  I’ve always been a big fan of Harley, but the new outfit from the Arkam game was too hot for words, and the level of detail this chick went too on that costume really did it justice.  She even had the warden’s name badge on, with the character portrait from the video game.  Two Face and the Joker’s costumes both looked custom made, and the trio put on a fantastic show, just sharing drinks on the patio out behind the Hyatt.

While I was there, I managed to catch the Voltaire concert and his Q&A panel, both of which were a blast.  One of the big pieces of news at his Q&A panel was that he’s got 2 new CD’s out this year… one was a kid’s album (mostly a compellation), and the other was a Country CD.  The country CD took everyone in the room by surprise, and even got some Boo’s at the Q&A, to which Voltaire responded ‘THANK YOU!  That is exactly the right response, because I hate country music!’  He wrote this in the style of Johnny Cash, and it’s making fun of country music and country music ideals.  I’ve heard a few tracks off the CD, and love it.  I bought a copy of it and had Voltaire autograph it for Melissa, who will get it in the mail as soon as I’m done ripping the tracks ;)  I bought myself the live CD and his CD from last year, which I never got.  After his show, I even got V to pose for a ‘snarky’ picture, just for Melissa.

All in all, I had a blast!  I got to meet some interesting people, I got to hang out with old friends, and I got to really enjoy myself for the weekend.  It was totally worth it, and I'm already looking forward to next year.  For reference, here’s the cost of the vacation:

Food and Supplies bought before the Con:  $200
Room for the Weekend (split 3 ways):  $300  (or $900/3)
Parking for the Weekend:  $75
Money Spent at the Dealers Rooms:  $150
Misc food/gas/snacks/etc:  $75

Total Cost:  $800

Not bad for a 4 day vacation.  I’m going to shoot for the internationally tower in the Hyatt again, that was a stellar room, and if I can get it low again, it’s much easier than waiting on an elevator.  2nd floor was super awesome, even if we could hear the crowds out front of the hotel late at night.  Not a big deal, since we were all so exhausted at the end of the day that we slept through them anyway ;)

Crash

What’s on TV…

So, traditionally, I don’t watch a lot of TV, especially when I was still playing World of Warcraft like a crack fiend.  Now that I’ve broken free of that, and really don’t play games all that much anymore, I have to find new and creative ways of wasting time.  And by creative, I mean finding TV shows that don’t totally suck.  I’m very glad I have a really nice DVR system now… it makes watching the very limited and random selection of TV shows I can tolerate a hell of a lot easier.  So, what am I watching these days?

1.  The Daily Show, with Jon Stewart (and the Colbert Report, by proxy)

Really, kind of a no brainer there… I really think that the news I get from Stewart is as reliable as what I get from Anderson Cooper, and it’s a hell of a lot more balanced than anything I could hope to see on Fox.  Which I don’t watch.  Ever.  The stupid fuckers… (pssst!  I really dislike those guys!)  As for Colbert, I like his show, even though he’s being deliberately disingenuous.  He puts enough sarcasm in his delivery though, that it’s easy to get the point he’s trying to make.

2.  NCIS

What can I say… I’m madly in love with Abby, their happy-goth forensic scientist.  Also, the entire cast just works really well together.  I really got into the show when I started watching reruns on USA last year, and I went back and watched every episode.  It’s a good show!  They’ve got their gothed out science geek (double whammy for me, right?), their slightly chubby computer geek (who had a relationship with said gothed out science geek early on), their wise cracking detective, bad ass Israeli special forces assassin, and the silent but deadly (seriously, he was a sniper… and he’s taken out a couple people in the show that way) head agent.  The team interaction is great, the stories are well written, and the humor is right up my ally.  I can’t wait to get into the next season.

3.  Eureka

I just got into this show this season, after hearing that Wil Wheaton was guest staring in a zombie-themed episode.  That’s pretty much the trifecta of awesomeness right there… Mad Scientists, Zombies, and Wesley Crusher.  What did you expect me to do?  Anyway, watching that episode and the crossover episode with Claudia from Warehouse 13, I decided to watch the entire series.  I burned through the first three seasons in less than a week, and was thoroughly hooked.  The concept is awesome:  Take the idea of a ‘Spark’ from Girl Genius (i.e. a genius mad scientist who can invent all kinds of pseudo-science gadgets).  Now put about 3000 of those folks in a town in Oregon, and put them all to work for a company called Global Dynamics.  Hilarity ensues.  They’re doing something weird in season 4 though, involving time travel and ret-conning big chunks of the city history.  It doesn’t look like they plan on fixing the time stream, either.  Not sure how I feel about this, but I’ll keep watching it.

4.  Warehouse 13

In a similar vein to Eureka, this one is about a couple of secret service agents who got recruited to work for a secret government program that confiscates and quarantines ‘Artifacts’.  Where Eureka has a modern-science feel to it, this one most definitely has a steampunk aesthetic.  The ‘artifacts’ are devices or nick knacks held by famous people in history that have attained some sort of mysterious power or ability.  Things like Lewis Carrol’s mirror, that traps the soul of anyone who looks into the mirror for to long, and replaces that soul with Alice (who, by the way, is completely homicidally insane).  It’s a neat premise, and the cast has good chemistry with each other, so it’s fun to watch. 

5.  Haven

This one is brand new on SyFy.  It’s about a small town in Main, right on the coast, where a bunch of spooky shit starts happening.  My first thought…  C’thulu!  However, it looks like this was based on a book by Steven King about a missing persons cold case.  Not sure where the tie in to all the spooky shit comes in (i.e. the last episode had a girl who could draw someone’s picture, then anything that happened to the picture happened to the person.  Yes, someone had their face erased!).  I’m still holding out for a C’thulu tie in, but it may be a season or two before they get that far.

6.  Futurama

New season!  Need I say more?  NO!

 

So yeah… finally, TV worth watching, at least by my understandably abnormal standards.  Just in time for the new semester of school to start.  Nothing like having a distraction when I should be studying :P

Crash

What the hell is wrong with these assholes?

Ok… I know I’ve already written about the Prop 8 ruling… but lets face it, this is going to be in the news for awhile, and like anything else in the news, it’s going to get attention from both sides of the issue.  Today’s example in extreme asshattery comes from one David Frum, a republican author who wants conservatism to ‘win’ again (whatever the fuck that means), and is a regular columnist for CNN.  He’s written an editorial called ‘Bristol Palin and the Future of Marriage’.  In this article, Frum makes the case that the recent re-breakup between Bristol and Levi is more important than the ruling on Prop 8 last week, that re-legalized same sex marriages in California.  Frum went on to say things like ‘Same Sex marriage has lead people to believe that having children out of wedlock is normal’, and that children born outside of wedlock are less likely to finish school, more likely to experience poverty, and more likely to go to prison.  He attempts to make the case that allowing same sex marriages is tantamount to dooming children across the land to lives of uneducated poverty and prison. 

After reading this article, I would very much like to find David Frum, and kick him in the head.

So, let me start my rebuttal with the obvious glaring hole in Frum’s argument.  No where in his editorial, or in court last week, was anyone anywhere able to prove that same sex marriage leads to  less hetero-sexual marriages.  Furthermore, no one has been able to prove that same sex marriages promote promiscuity between unmarried couples.  (Hollywood does a FAAAAAR better job of doing that for us, but that’s another rant).  Since Frum’s entire argument relies on the notion that same sex marriages lead to more children out of wedlock, we could stop right here and be confident we’ve made our case.  However, I would like to point out the other, far more obvious fact about same sex couples (both in and out of marriage)… THEY DON’T HAVE CHILDREN ACCIDENTALLY!  I’ve never heard of a pair of lesbians having pre-martial sex and ‘accidentally’ getting knocked up!  It just doesn’t happen!  And if it did?  Guess what!  THEY AREN’T FUCKING LESBIANS!  We learned that shit in biology 101!  How the FUCK can you make the case that same sex marriages promote unwed pregnancies?  It’s fucking ridiculous, and Frum should be a ashamed of himself for committing such a stupid thought to words, much less publishing them in a national forum!

Of course, Frum’s own data works against him.  Allow me to present exhibit A:

Notice that Alaska is not among the handful of states that allow same sex marriages.  (It does allow marriage to first cousins though, which might explain Bristol’s mom… but I digress…)  However, Frum’s ‘data’ shows that nearly 30% of white women in 2007 who gave birth, did so out of wedlock.  Is he implying that 30% of the white people in the USA live in that 5% of the country, and that those 30% of white children born were born in areas that allow same sex marriage?  He is certainly implying that same sex marriage is the only factor that leads kids to think marriage isn’t necessary.  So, given her mother’s very public stance on the issues and her geographic location, the notion that Bristol’s exposure to same sex marriage made her think that it was cool to get knocked up at 16 before getting married, during her mother’s failed attempt at running for VP is really not holding much water.  I may be going out on a limb here, but I think it’s safe to say that some other factor lead her to believe it was cool to get knocked up early and unwed.  Hrmmm… what could it be, what could it be?  Could it be…. SATAN?!?!  Nope… it’s probably just some pussy in glitter:

But anyway, enough about Bristol.  I’m writing this post to rip on Frum here, for being an asshat and continuing to push the notion that same sex marriage is hurting our children.  Frum isn’t the only one doing this either.  Most analysts agree that the PR blitz in ‘08 about Prop 8 was largely successful because they played on a parents fear that allowing same sex marriages would somehow make their kids gay.  Now they are changing their tune slightly, and saying that it wont make them gay, it will just make them disrespect the institution or marriage, presumably because it’s not an exclusive thing anymore, and just old anyone can get married now!  It’s the same bullshit move with a fresh coat of paint tacked onto it.  It isn’t any more true now than it was in ‘08, and I’m sick and tired of seeing these assholes hide their intolerance and bigotry behind the shield of ‘SAVE THE CHILDREN!’.  This bullshit is doing more harm than good and it needs to stop!

If 2 people are lucky enough to find happiness together, let them be happy!  This doesn’t hurt anyone!  A Man and a Woman, a White and Black, and Jew and a Christian, who cares, and why are any of these couples fundamentally different or entitled to any different treatment?  Marriage is about love and happiness, plain and simple.  Denying marriage to same sex couples is teaching your kids that it’s ok to oppress people because they are different from you.  If you think that’s a good idea, than a few unwed teens having babies is the least of your problems!

I could rant on this for hours, but I have work to do…
Crash

Oh, the conversations I have with my mother…

So, I went home for lunch today, to find my mother (who’s in town visiting this week+), watching some space exploration show on the Science Channel.  The talking head on the TV made a comment about how we could potentially have a man on Mars by the end of President Obama’s second term.  Now… my mother is not a fan of the president.  At all.  She’s convinced that Obama isn’t a citizen, is a Muslim terrorist, and is selling out our country to the Chinese.  I’m not really sure when she became a rabid right wing nut job, but there it is, clear as day.  So, when mom heard that statement about Obama and space travel, her first reaction was ‘NO WE CAN’T!  OBAMA TOOK AWAY ALL THE MONEY FROM THE SPACE PROGRAM!  RAWRRRR!’  Of course, being the more rational of the two, I felt obligated to correct her…

I reminded her that Obama didn’t just call up the heads of NASA and have them all summarily shot in their faces.  Instead, he’s repurposed NASA towards more pressing terrestrial scientific endeavors, and turned over the task of manned space exploration to the private sector.  When asked who she would rather see running the show on space flight:  the Government or the Private sector, mom was forced to concede that we’re better off in the private sector’s hands.  The government bureaucracy is so inflated right now that between budget arguments, congressional committees, and ceaseless politicking, nothing serious would ever get done again.  However, in the past 6 months since the private sector has been let loose on the issues, we’ve already seen our first 100% private run and funded orbital object launch.  (Way to go, Space X!)

That’s the thing about my mother… she loves to argue politics, but she’s so mired in the conspiracy theories, hate and fear mongering, and eternal pessimism of the right wing that she can’t make a single argument that stands up to fact checking or the slightest amount of reason.  I make a habit of shooting down anything like that I hear her say, especially when I’m home for the holidays.  It would be hilarious, if she and my grandmother didn’t get into screaming matches over these very same things when I’m not around…

Anyway, little conversations like this make my day, especially when they result in mom having to admit that something the President did is working out positively.  I wish it was that easy to convince the rest of the folks around here of all that… but at least it’s something ;)

 

Crash

Prop 8 my homework!

(see what I did there?  Anyway…)

So, yesterday, in what will certainly be a court case for the ages, California Federal District Court Judge Vaughn Walker (appointed by Ronald Reagan, by the way) shot down Prop 8 as being unconstitutional.  For those of you who don’t pay attention to California politics, Prop 8 was the ballot initiative in 2008 that banned the state of California from issuing any more same sex marriage licenses.  Judge Vaughn overturned the law the grounds that it violated due process and equal treatment guaranteed by the 14th amendment.  In the verdict of the case, he said that the defendants (i.e. the state of California) failed to produce any evidence that backed up the claims that same sex marriages hurt heterosexual marriages in any way, nor was there any evidence that same sex couples were unfit parents.  He summed up the ruling by affirming that prop 8 was based on a moral point of view that held same sex marriages as inferior to heterosexual marriages, and that moral opinions were not a basis for any kind of law.  I could sum it up even more, but I have a better idea:

Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to
deny rights to gay men and lesbians.  The evidence shows
conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private
moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex
couples.  FF 76, 79-80; Romer, 517 US at 634 (“[L]aws of the kind
now before us raise the inevitable inference that the disadvantage
imposed is born of animosity toward the class of persons
affected.”).  Because Proposition 8 disadvantages gays and lesbians
without any rational justification, Proposition 8 violates the
Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

CONCLUSION

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in
singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license.
Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than
enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-
sex couples are superior to same-sex couples.  Because California
has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and
because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its
constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis,
the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. 

You can check out the full PDF case briefing here.  Personally, I think is one of the best things to come out of the judiciary system in ages.  I’m hoping that this will be the domino to fall and start the chain reaction to legalize same sex marriages across the country.  I fear that my gay friends here in Alabama may have another couple decades to wait until it’s their turn, but at least this is movement in the right direction.

I’m glad to see legislation like this coming down the pipe.  Many analysts predict that in 20 years, same sex marriage will be legal across the country (well, except here in Alabama, of course).  Now that the ball is rolling, there are a few other laws I would like to see changed across the country.  For example, Pot.  Legalize that shit, and tax the hell out of it!  People are going to smoke it either way, the only question is who gets the profits… drug runners, or the US Government and Phillip Morris?  As much as I like to dish on the corporate fat-cats who are ruining America, I would rather see all that pot money go to US companies over Mexican drug lords.  Plus, legalizing it will free up a lot of police and judiciary resources to focus on real dangerous crime.  But that’s another rant for another time…

Crash

Starcraft 2… full of win!

So, I’m kind of a Starcraft fan-boy… have been for 12 years now.  It’s not that I’m a huge fan of RTS games, because I’m not.  In fact, the only RTS games I’ve ever really played are the Starcraft and Warcraft series.  However, Blizzard is a master at crafting epic and engaging stories to go with their games, and they suck me in every time.  The fact that they keep their RTS game play fun certainly helps though ;)

Anyway, it’s been 12 years since Blizzard released the first Starcraft.  My oldest friends (the ones I made in my ill-fated stint at Sewanee), remember how that game affected me back then.  Many people would lay the blame for burning out my junior year squarely on the feet of Starcraft and the Brood Wars expansion… They would be wrong, mind you, but I can see why they would say that (truth is, I was burned out either way and if I wasn’t obsessively playing Starcraft 2, I would have found some other equally distracting activity that didn’t involve doing my schoolwork).  Either way, I played a LOT of Starcraft back in my college days.  I was never a pro-gamer, counting my APM or any of that crap, but I spent a lot of time in that game.

So, with that kind of history, it’s no wonder that I got all kinds of excited when I heard that Blizzard was finally pushing out the sequel.  Blizzard being what they are, I knew it would rock story wise, and I had every faith that Blizzard would keep the game fun to play as well as engaging.  I didn’t pre-order the collectors edition (because they weren’t taking CE pre-orders anymore when I got to my local GameStop and ordered my copy), but when I went to pick up my copy on launch day, I found my GameStop had an extra CE copy, so I snagged it!  Bonus!

LAUNCH DETECTED!

Launch day was agonizing… I picked up my copy at 10:00am, then had to spend the rest of the the day at work.  The box was sitting in my car, just begging to be played, all day long!  I didn’t get home until around 6:30, and I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before.  Still… for those of you who know me, you’ll know that I wasn’t about to let a little thing like sleep deprivation deter me from cracking open my shiny new collectors edition and fire it up!  The installation went perfect and a few minutes later I was watching the trademark Blizzard cut scene intro to the game.  I only intended on playing for an hour or so, because I’m trying to finish a research paper.  Before I could blink, I looked up and saw that I had been playing for 4 hours.  I did that again last night, playing until 3:00am without realizing it.  Nice!

So, the game itself is flat out fantastic.  The game play hasn’t changed much from the formula that made it such a success 12 years ago.  There are new units, new buildings, new tactics, and new tricks to learn, but largely the game plays just like it did back then.  I was happy to find that the hotkeys I remembered from SC1 still worked in SC2, and I was happy to see how naturally I fell back into my SC gaming groove.  The first SC2 game is Terran only in the single player, but there are a handful of bonus missions you get to play as Protoss.  The full Protoss and Zerg campaigns come out as separate expansions, which may be as far as 18 months out between releases!  CRAP!

What’s really got me hooked is the story!  In SC1, and even Warcraft, the story was told mid-mission, through scripted events, and between missions, through the occasional cut scene or scripted event.  All you ever got to see of a character was their unit in the game, and a small portrait image in the UI.  You were either looking at a loading screen, or loaded into a map for the duration of the game.  In SC2, they’ve taken that to a whole new level by borrowing the setup of the Normandy from Mass Effect.  Now, between missions, you retire to your own personal battle cruiser, the Hyperion.  There, you can talk to your crew, look after research projects, check the armory for new permanent unit upgrades, or hire new merc units in the bar.  I find myself spending as much time in the ship between missions as I do in each mission!

I’m only 2 days into the game, and I’ve knocked out the first 10-12 missions so far... those being the easy ones that teach you the basics of play.  I’ve also stumbled across the bonus Protoss missions, which I’m rocking my way through right now.  In terms of levels, I’m about 1/3-1/2 of the way through the game, but in terms of time, it’s more likely 1/4 of the way through, at most.  I’m sure the later levels will get much harder much faster.  As long as the story keeps pace, I don’t mind.  I’ll play the game on easy mode if I have too, just to get to more of those juicy story bits!

So anyway, if you can’t tell by now, I am totally in love with Starcraft 2.  If you’re any kind of blizzard fan boy (guilty!), you should totally pick it up.  Even if RTS’s aren’t your thing, the story is worth the game play, and you can play through on easy (or even cheat!) to get past the missions.  I know I’ll get more enjoyment out of this than the next 3 bluray movies I buy (which cost as much as this game did).  Seriously, I can’t endorse this game enough, just for the single player campaign alone.  Of course, I haven’t touched multiplayer yet, but I’ll get to that in my own sweet time ;)

--Crash

And your little dog, too…

So, I’ve known for some time now that my mother was planning a visit down to my place for the first week of August.  That’s no surprise.  She hasn’t been down here since this time last year, honestly I’m surprised she lasted this long.  She’s bringing her computer for me to fix too, which again, isn’t any big surprise.  I’ve long since resigned myself to being the family tech support monkey.  Whatever, it’s easier to just fix this crap and get it over with than try to teach them how to do this stuff themselves.  The only sense of impending dread I’ve had up until now is my mother’s propensity to extend a ‘few days’ into a ‘few weeks’, when she comes down to the coast.  Fortunately, I’ve got a major deadline right in the middle of her visit, so I’ll have an excuse to hide at my office for 10-12 hours a day while she’s here.  All in all, I thought I was fairly well prepared for her visit.  Until, of course, I found out that…

She wants to bring her dog with her.  And by want, I mean she’s already made plans on doing so, without ever having asked if that was ok with me or if I had any objections to it.  My mother’s dog, I might add, is less than a year old, and hasn’t quite mastered that whole ‘house broken’ thing down yet.  It’s a hyper active, yippy little meat sack of a dog, the kind of dog you could kick 20 yards.  It’s a miniature schnauzer, and I can already see it causing a world of headaches for me.  Why?  Well…

I don’t ‘hate’ dogs, per say, but I don’t think anyone would mistake me for a dog-person.  That’s why I have cats.  2 of them, in fact.  Nora and Kiera.  They are both typical cats, in that they know that they own everything in my apartment, including me.  If it’s head scratching time, it doesn’t matter that I’m arms deep in a computer trying to replace a burned out power supply, it’s head scratching time, damnit!  They are both very spoiled cats, and they know it.  So, putting a strange smelling, hyperactive dog that is larger than either of my cats in their space, and expecting them to live with it for at least a week… yeah, that’s not going to be fun.

Have I mentioned that my cats will not hesitate to show their displeasure at things that annoy them, with extreme prejudice?  I’m serious!  I’ve already been hospitalized once because of my cats…  I tried to break up a fight between the two of them a few months ago, and they both turned on me and clawed the fuck out of hands.  My left hand got infected and was at risk of needing surgery to undo the damage.  I spent a weekend hospitalized, with an IV in either arm pumping antibiotics in to fight off the infection.  Real fun, I assure you.

So, my mother is bringing her dog into my 2 bedroom apartment with my 2 homicidal cats, while asking me to fix her computer and put up with her in my space for no less than a solid week, maybe two...  What could possibly go wrong?

--Crash

Trying out Windows Live Writer

I’m always on the lookout for new and interesting tools to play around with on the web.  Today, at a lunch training session at work, we were introduced to Windows Live Writer, a Blogging platform tool that Microsoft put out.  We’re going to be using it at work to collaborate on a group SharePoint blog for our office.  However, when James installed it on the conference room computer, I noticed that this tool had support for blogger accounts (like this one, and my developer journal).  So, since I had to install this anyway for the office blog, I thought I would try it out and see how I liked it for my Blogger account as well.

So far, I’m ok with it.  It’s got a nice WYSIWYG interface, it lets me publish directly to the blog or save as draft (I have as many unpublished ‘draft’ blog posts as I do published ones), and it supports multiple accounts.  I like that.  It’s also supposed to support picture uploads, tagging, videos, and other such things.  I’ll play around with those later.  Well, maybe I’ll play around with the picture thing now, as I never pass up an opportunity to put up a Deadpool demotivational poster!

I’m not sure if having a new utility to write blog posts will make my writing any more prolific, but since I’m not writing this blog for other people to read, I don’t know that it matters.  I blog when I blog, when I think I have a post coherent enough to publish next to my name (because, you never know who *might* find it by accident).

Posting to a draft seemed to work just fine, but doing so also wiped out my white space in between my paragraphs.  The preview of this post in Live Writer doesn’t show that problem.  I need to see if publishing a full on post will have the safe effect.  I wouldn’t be surprised to find that this post only renders properly in IE, if I publish it from this tool.  If that’s the case, I’ll stick to my web interface for making new posts to my accounts.

*EDIT:  Publishing the post seems to have resolved any white space issues, and the page renders properly in Firefox.  I think I may end up liking this tool after all…

Crash

When did Atheists become Assholes?

I've noticed a disturbing trend lately in the world of religious debate/discussion.  Quite frankly, Atheists have become raging assholes.  Reference Bill Maher, of whom I am a big fan.  I love his political talk show 'Real Time', I listen to the podcast every week and I generally agree with his liberal points of view.  However, lately I feel he's taking the self-righteous atheist bit just a bit too far.  Last week he tried to get one of his guests, an atheist author (with a doctorate in religious studies, oddly enough), to publicly state that all people of faith were deluded.  When she refused to do so, he called her out for not having the 'strength of her convictions'.

Hey, I can be self-righteous too!

It's not just Maher doing this, either.  More and more I see atheists literally preaching to the religious folks around them, trying to belittle, guilt, or just bully them into seeing things their way.  You know, I could be wrong, but I seem to recall calling out the Baptists for doing this very thing.  In fact, it was after being subjected to that kind of closed minded rhetoric in high school and college that lead me to my current beliefs today.  I find it slightly ironic and incredibly depressing that atheism today has devolved into same kind of indoctrinated bullshit that they used to so proudly stand against.

Let me see if I can't put a different light on this.  Put a Christian, and Atheist, a Jew, and a Muslim at a table together and start a religious discussion.  Each person at that table KNOWS that he is right, and he KNOWS that what the other three BELIEVE is self deluded bullshit.  Really though, at the end of the day none of the 4 men at that table KNOW jack from shit.  They only believe they are right, and that's fine.  That's the point of religion and faith in general.  Faith is belief.  Science is fact.  This new crop of asshole Atheists would have you believe that they are preaching science.  Sorry pal, atheism is no closer to true science than Scientology is.

I have a degree in Chemistry, a "Hard Science".  From a purely scientific point of view, we can't prove a higher power does exist.  However, until we can prove that they do not, all we can do is keep looking (or, you know, do some research into something important, like a cure for cancer, or quantum computers, or cleaning up that fucking oil spill!?).  At the end of the day, atheists only believe that there is no higher power.  They don't know it any more than Muslims know Allah is waiting for them with their 72 virgins or Tom Cruise knows that Xenu is plotting to steal his baby.  So, all this belligerent behavior from the atheists is out of line, and disingenuous to say the least.

I think churches that go out and try to force their religion on other people are wrong.  The crusades?  Wrong.  Missionaries?  Wrong (but at least they do generally try to help the people they are preaching at).  People preaching on the streets, handing out pamphlets, or sticking shit on my door trying to guilt me into going to church?  Wrong.  Now, hopefully I won't see an army of atheists rise up and invade the bible belt (actually... that might be kind of fun...), but you get my point:  forcing your beliefs on other people who don't see things the same way you do is WRONG, no matter what religious banner you're waving.

Oh, and while I'm talking about this, let me get this out too, lest you think I'm just rallying against atheists...  Can all you religious bible-thumpers out there please stop associating atheism with immorality?  Not everyone needs the threat of eternal damnation or divine retribution to motivate them to do good things.  The idea that you have to believe in a higher power before you can tell right from wrong is about as offensive as it is ignorant, and I would really like for that line of bullshit to stop.  My favorite though, are the Darwin-award worthy idiots who actually believe that Atheists (you know, the people who don't believe in heaven or hell) are actually Satan worshipers.  Seriously.

Religious intolerance makes Tim Curry ANGRY!

I think that religion should be a personal choice.  I don't talk about what I believe unless asked directly, because I'm tired of being told I'm going to hell for disagreeing with you.  If you choose to believe in a god, good for you.  If you think you've got 72 virgins waiting for you, rock on... (have fun with that!).  If you think the clams are spying on us for the aliens so you need to cleanse your thetans so they can't read your mind, well whatever floats your boat...  And if you think that there is no higher power, we are alone in this universe, and it's up to us to make things good or bad for each other, then carry on... all I ask (and this goes for everyone) is that you respect what I believe.  In return, I'll respect what you believe, and we can all go about our day.  (Except for you Tom Cruise...  You're still an idiot.) 

Is that really too much to ask?

Steampunk Con Costume

So, I've been getting into the Con Circuit again lately.  I enjoy it, I like the people, the costumes, and the activities.  I feel at home there.  I've already made arrangements to be at Dragon Con this year, which is the biggest convention in this part of the country.  I've been there before, and I had a blast.  Looking forward to another good year!

So anyway, one of the big trends in con life these days is the reemergence of the steam punk genre.  I've always had a soft spot for that imagery and style, though I've never actively seeked it out.  However, after reading books like Boneshaker and reading comics like Girl Genius, I have to admit that I really like seeing the imagery realized in physical form.  Steam Punk crossovers are pretty awesome too, as evidenced by the Steam Punk X-Men:

Since Dragon Con has a large focus on guest costuming, I'm leaning heavily towards putting together a Steam Punk costume for the con.  Most guys go for the gentleman type outfit, with the huge top hats , vests, dress slacks, and fancy weaponry.  I think it's a bit overdone, personally.  I've got more of the 'Airship Mechanic' in mind.  Newsboy cap, loose button down shirt, rolled up to the elbows, canvas slacks with suspenders, a thick work belt, and some well worn in work boots.

I think the centerpiece of the outfit would be the giant steam-punked pipe wrench concept I've got floating around the back of my mind.  I have to find a 3-4 foot long pipe wrench at a local pawn shop (the older the better), then trick it out.  At the very least, a piston connecting the top slide to the shaft, and maybe some gears tacked on for show.  It would be very heavy, so a carry strap or sling would be pretty much required.  I don't think I have the technical skill to do much more than that.  Either way, I need to sketch out my ideas first, then see about a parts list and required tools.

The other cornerstone of my costume is the belt.  The last time Dad was cleaning out his junk piles, he found an old leather belt he made years ago.  Back in his wreck diving days, he used to pull brass fixtures off of wrecks and make stuff with them.  In one case, he pulled a brass nameplate off of a boiler.  He cleaned and polished it, then welded on the hardware behind it to make it into a fully functional belt.  I checked last night, and it's just about my size (but I need to lose another inch or two around my waste to really make it fit right).  Either way, it's an authentic brass nameplate off of a massive ship boiler.  It's absolutely perfect for a steampunk costume, especially a mechanics costume.

After doing a little more research on line, and looking at examples of other quality steam punk gear out there (Thanks Melissa!), I think I need to make some sort of gauntlet for my left hand...  i.e. simulate a mechanical hand to replace one lost in some accident.  Maybe it's because I've been reading Berserk lately, but the idea of a mechanical hand strapped onto my left arm does sound pretty rocking right now.  Of course, I have no idea how to do that yet, so this one may have to wait a bit.  I want to get the Wrench done first, then I'll go from there.

So yeah... I'll try and track my progress here.  I've still got 3 months to put something together, but I've got momentum behind it right now, so I expect to move quickly on this.

Crash For President: Immigration and Welfare

In what I hope will be the first of many posts on the subject, I'm going to talk about how I'll run things when I become the President of the United States of America.  In this post, I share my ideas on how to fix Immigration, and the rampant abuse of our entitlement programs (i.e. welfare) by Americans.

So, recently Arizona passed a very controversial immigration law, in a very short sighted attempt to curb the illegal immigrants pouring into the state from Mexico.  Illegal immigrants are sneaking into the state, draining public resources, and 'stealing our jobs' from the local populace.  The law requires every immigrant in Arizona to carry their immigration documents with them at all time.  Arizona cops can demand to see these papers pretty much any time they want too (with the help of any thinly veiled context they can come up with on the spot).  The radical right thinks this is a fantastic solution, while the bleeding heart left has gone so far as to compare this to the Nazi's treatment of the Jews, pre-world war 2.  First off, while I am very left of center, I think comparing it to the Nazi's is a bit premature... when they start rounding up illegals into concentration camps and construction begins on the ovens, then we'll talk.  Second, isn't there a law out there somewhere about abusing the Nazi card in an argument?

The public discourse on this topic of late has been focused primarily on who's to blame (hint:  Everyone wants to blame the illegal immigrants!), which I think is a horrible way to go about solving the problem.  Hell, I don't even want to talk about that law.  Instead, I want to look at the root causes of the problems that spawned the new law, instead of trying to treat the symptoms it was written to combat.  I believe that the immigration problem we have is not the cause, but a symptom of  larger problems.  Everyone wants to dog pile on the 'BLAME JOSE!' bandwagon, but that's just because no one wants to take responsibility for our problems.  I don't blame the immigrants, I blame the people who are taking advantage of them when they get over here, and enabling them to make enough money to stay here indefinitely.

Sure, these immigrants are coming over here illegally, and yes, that's bad, but I want to make this clear... I don't blame them for coming over here illegally.  That's not a very popular view point, but put yourself in their shoes for a few minutes.  You find yourself living in a third world country, your government is fundamentally corrupt and you are so poor you can't afford to buy bread.  There's no law enforcement to speak of, hospitals are laughable at best, and you can't drink the water.  You hear about life in the promised land: America!  Easy money, accessible health care and education for your kids...  you'd think life looks pretty good on the other side of the fence too.  If we found ourselves in that situation, I think any one of us would give serious thought to the jumping the fence too.  In that light, knowing that I would make the same choice if I were in their shoes, I can't really find fault with the immigrants who sneak into the country, hoping to find a better life.  I'm not saying I'm happy to pay for that better life, I'm just saying that I understand why they do it.

Anyway, moving on... the question we need to be asking ourselves is this:  Why do these illegals come into the country?  Well, that's an easy answer:  Because they can find work here.  Sure, it's doing the jobs that none of the rest of America wants to do, for wages that none of the rest of the country want to work for, but hey... it's work, and it's better than what they have in Mexico.  People are willing to hire them, despite the illegality of it.  As long as they can find jobs, immigrants will continue to come here, by any means they can.  So, if you insist on placing blame, don't you think it should lie squarely around the necks of the people who hire these illegals?  (For the record, yes, I do!)  These folks are paying less than minimum wage, not paying payroll or social security taxes on these folks, and give away jobs to non-American citizens.  I think it's fair to say this is a major problem.

However, I'm not interested in placing blame here, I'm just trying to get to the root causes and address them.  So, why do you think that these businesses would willingly hire illegal workers, knowing that what they are doing is contributing to the problem and hurting the country?  Again, this is an easy answer:  It's cheaper!  This is the root of so many bad choices in this country... go green or burn coal?  Coal!  Why?  Cheaper!  Buy organic or buy chemically enhanced, mass produced goods?  Bring on the HFCS!  Why?  Cheaper!  You get the point.  The people who hire illegals hire them because it costs them much less than having to hire legal workers and pay into the system (like everyone else!).

Simply saying that cutting off the supply of illegals will solve the problem is a big steaming pile of crap.  We'll never be able to cut off the supply fully, and even if we could, what do you think would happen?  Think it through... these businesses that hire illegals now will have to hire legal employees, which cost more.  These businesses will have to raise their prices, or go out of business.  The rest of us will feel the effects as these costs trickle up through the system.  As things get more and more expensive, we'll look for cheaper and cheaper options.  We'll begin to import more (cheaper) goods to offset the higher cost of domestic goods... which of course, defeats the entire purpose of trying to keep American jobs in American hands.  Sound impossible?  When was the last time you called tech support?  Did you enjoy talking to Raji?  I know he enjoyed talking to you...  Simply cutting off the supply of cheap labor here will not fix the problem, it will only offset it, and cause a whole new host of problems to rise up.

Anyway, enough of that for now... lets set that aside for a little bit and switch gears.  We'll get back to this later, I promise...

As I said earlier, I'm fairly far left of center.  I don't describe myself as a bleeding heart liberal, but I do like big government, and I think that our 'entitlement' programs like Welfare, medicare, food stamps, etc, are useful to society.  However, I'm not so blind that I can't see that these systems are broken.  Welfare, in particular, needs some attention.  Welfare was designed to be a 'hand-up' for people who were down on their luck or found themselves in a bad situation.  However, it has become little more than a 'hand-out' program now, and people who are on the system rarely look to get off it.  It's basically 'free money', and we've never asked them for anything in return for it.  Of course, if someone offered you a free check every month to sit on your ass all day, I think some of you might consider that option as well.  That's not a difficult choice to understand.

So, let me see if I can't take what we've talked about so far and roll it all up in a handy little recap...  We've got illegal immigrants rushing into the country because there are plentiful jobs that no one else wants.  We've got business owners and private citizens hiring illegals because they are less expensive than hiring legitimate full time employees.  We've got an ever increasing segment of people with no job and nothing to do all day but sit around, and are already GIVING them tax payer money.  Hmmm.... if only there was a way to use one problem to fix the other... Oh wait, I've got it!

Lets start with the welfare handouts.  You want money from the government?  Sure, no problem.  Report to work at 08:00.  Work?  I didn't sign up for this shit!  Sure you did.  Money for Nothing and Chics for Free is just a song, pal.  Here in the real world, we work for our money.  You want money, food, and a hand up from the government, we're happy to help.  But you're going to start pulling your weight to earn it.  But, but, but... I have kids to care for!  I can't spend all day working and leave my kids unattended!  Don't worry, we've got that covered!  Check this out...

If you're on welfare, you join a government subsidized work force.  You'll get your standard welfare benefits, plus a small cash stipend to spend as you please.  If you fail to report to work, the government fails to mail out your welfare package.  But, what will we do with all these workers, you ask?  That is a great question... hey, what about all those employers who hire illegals because they're cheaper than the regular workforce?  These business owners can hire out from the welfare workforce for around what they are paying illegal workers now.  As long as it doesn't cost more (or much more) than hiring illegals, there's no incentive for the business owners to hire illegals over citizens.  The government will subsidize the whole thing, making sure the workers on welfare get their benefits, while the employers pay what they can afford without having to raise their prices.

Anyone who doesn't get hired out to local businesses, farmers, construction companies, or whatever, can do public works stuff.  We need clean up crews on the streets (who aren't in orange jump suits and chains, preferably).  We need people to clean up graffiti around town.  We need Census takers.  There's always work that needs to be done around our country.  Oh, and lets not forget the welfare parents... we'll need day care facilities to care for the children of these workers!  The best part is that we can staff those daycare centers with other welfare workers.  The employers pay into the system to hire people out at the same low cost to them that they are used to when working with illegals.  They don't have to increase their prices, so we don't feel the burden higher up in the system.  The government subsidizes the rest.  We're already giving away most of that money as free welfare anyway, why not get something out of the investment?

So, you might ask what happens if someone gets assigned to a job they don't want to do?  Well, if they're so down on their luck that have no other choice but to go on welfare, they really don't get to be too picky about what work is out there for you.  Beggars and Chooses, you see...  If you don't like constantly being on street cleaning duty, that's incentive to go out and get a real job.  Hey, look at that!  We've found motivation to get off of welfare.

This accomplishes several things.  First off, it lets the employers keep operating at or near the same cost as they do now.  They no longer need to hire illegals, and the money that is currently going to illegals or being sent back to Mexico gets to stay in the US Economy.  When there are no jobs for Illegals to 'take', they lose their primary reason for crossing the border in the first place.  This also gets the welfare recipients out of the hand-out mentality and back into the hand-up mentality.  There is a great deal to be said for working an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, and being made to work a job you don't really enjoy will motivate them to find one they are happier with.  Kids grow up watching mommy and daddy working, instead living off of Uncle Sam, and they come to expect to work as well.  If people working for welfare want to better themselves or get a better job, they've just earned some work experience to build on.

Sure, there are some problems with this (as well as every other) solution.  For example, illegals will still come here to try and get health care.  Fine.. if they're dying or seriously injured, of course we should try to save them.  I'm a big fan of this radical concept called 'basic human rights', and I believe no one should be turned away from a hospital if they're bleeding from multiple stab wounds.  However, I don't think it's out of the question to verify immigration status if a patient can't produce any kind of health insurance or pay for their treatment.  If they're an illegal, we patch them up and hand them off to INS when they're discharged.  I really don't expect this to be a big problem, once the supply of jobs dries up for illegals.  Doubt that?  Look north.  Canada's got completely free health care.  How many American's without insurance jump the (non-existent) fence to Canada to get fixed up when they're sick?  Sorry pal, it really doesn't happen.

Another potential problem would be placing welfare workers in the right kind of work.  I really wouldn't want to see an abusive alcoholic father be staffed to a daycare center, for example, and I wouldn't expect to place a small woman with back problems in the fields picking strawberries every day.  We would have to do some basic screening and aptitude tests to make sure the right people were pulled for the right work.  That's really not all that complicated.  We would also have to put sensible restrictions on who could or could not pull from the welfare worker corp, as well as what kind of jobs those workers could fill.  If you don't, eventually everyone is trying to hire from that pool, and the people working in those sectors legitimately suffer undue competition (however, one of the biggest arguments in the immigration issue right now is that illegals only take the jobs that decent American's don't want... so pick a side and stick with it).  There would also have to be some pretty harsh penalties for employing illegals after the system goes live and a serious effort behind enforcing these laws after the system was implemented.

Really, the only side of this that I haven't addressed yet is what to do with the illegals who are already here, taking advantage of public services without paying anything into them.  So, what should we do with them?  Hey, That's easy too.  Make them a part of the system.  Legalize them, or at least simplify the path to legalization and remove the threat of deportation for illegals who apply to the system.  People can say this all they want:  'If they want to immigrate, they should do it LEGALLY'... but if the legal path to immigration is prohibitively expensive and time consuming, it's not a practical option.... applying for green card alone costs $1,000 as of 2007, and that's if you try to do it without the help of a lawyer.  Applying for citizenship can take years.  If they are coming to America because they're too poor to provide for themselves in Mexico, how are they going to save up that much cash for a green card?  (FYI:  $1 dollar is approximately 13 pesos... so 13,000 peso's for a green card.  Average minimum wage in Mexico is about 55 pesos per day.  Do the math and tell me how well that works for you...  So can we all please get off the 'they should just do it legally' bandwagon?  Source).

I think the benefits of this system would far outweigh the burdens.  You keep US money in US hands, you make jobs for people who need them, and you keep costs low for the people who have to hire illegals now.  You remove the reason we have so many illegal immigrants trying to get into the country.  News flash folks:  people do things for reasons.  No reason mean no action.  Yes, the government will foot the bill for some of this.  I'm for big government, remember?  I don't mind.  You don't think this system will work?  That's fine too.  Bring me a better plan, preferably one that doesn't rely on trickle down economics or have anything to do with Haliburton.  If you can show me a better, mutually beneficial solution for these problems, then maybe I'll have found my VP candidate!

Crash for President!

Tour de Cure 2010... Or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the bike!

Wow... it's hard to believe that it's been 3+ years since I've ridden my road bike.  I moved down to the gulf in '06, and tried to ride that first summer, but gave it up quickly when I realized how troublesome riding alone is out here in such unfriendly territory.  As a result, all of my previous weight loss, fitness, energy, and confidence faded away over the last 3 years.  Towards the end of last summer, I moved to Mobile AL, which has something resembling an active cycling community.  I've also been associated with RideYellow.org since their first year... in fact, the very first RideYellow was the last metric I rode before I had to give up riding.  Well, this year, I decided that I'm sick of being unhealthy and out of shape, so I've decided to get back on my bike, even if it kills me!

To that end, I started looking for local sponsored bike rides.  A wise man told me that the best way to train for a ride is to register for one, so a little over a month ago, I found and signed up for the Pensacola Tour de Cure.  I'm familiar with this ride, as I rode in the Chattanooga Tour de Cure several years in a row, when I still lived in TN.  The local ride was only a metric, not a 2 day 150 mile adventure, but it's a good start.  However, since it's been 3 years since I've touched my road bike, much less ridden on a regular basis, I decided to play it safe, and I registered for the 42 mile ride.  That sparked the fire to get me training, and I've been hitting my exercise bike and elliptical at home pretty hard over the last month...

Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan... about 3 weeks ago, I got a bad dish at a local sushi joint and came down with the worst case of food poisoning I've ever had.  I was miserable for a solid week, and uncomfortable for a week after that... and during those 2 weeks, I didn't have the will or the energy to continue my workouts.  On top of that, I went in for Lasik surgery during all that, which made me overly cautious about working out.  So, while I started off strong with a good 3 weeks of solid workouts, I only spent about 2-3 hours total working out in the last 3 weeks before the Tour de Cure.  Additionally, none of my training involved getting on my *real* bike and pedaling it around, and anyone who's been on a real bike and an exercise bike knows that the different between the 2 is dramatic.  Not my best start, but I was determined to do this ride!

I've spent most of the last week gearing up for this... replacing missing or broken equipment, cleaning my gear, and making sure everything was in place for the ride.  Of course, through all of this gearing up, I never actually got around to really checking out the most important item in this little endeavor... my Bike!  Despite my best efforts, I was unable to find time over the previous month to actually take my road bike down off the wall and try to ride it.  So really, by the morning of the ride, I was rolling the dice to see if I would even be able to ride or not.

The day of the ride finally came and I managed to drag myself out of bed at 3:30am to get a shower and load up the car for my drive over to Gulf Breeze.  In what has to be a first time EVER in my biking career, I was on time and on schedule all morning long.  I got out of bed, showered, got my breakfast sorted out, car loaded, and hit the road by 4:45, all right on time.  I had my trusty iPhone with turn by turn directions preset to the ride starting location.  I did forget my Red Bull, which annoyed me, but I was in such a good mood I let it slide.  In fact, I was in such a good mood, and having so much fun reliving my old biking days that I began entertaining the idea of doing the entire 62 mile ride.  The weather was set to be perfect (mid 70's, partly cloudy, etc), so by the time I rolled into Gulf Breeze, I had worked myself up to doing the whole thing.  I got there 5 minutes before registration started.

Here's where things began to go pear shaped on me...  I got to registration and found that the folks at the TDC had misplaced my registration packet.  No one could find it and no one could figure out where it went.  Next, I went over to claim my ride t-shirt... note that I was there 5 minutes BEFORE registration started, and they were already out of 2XL shirts.  So far, not a good start and my resolution began to falter.  However, I struck up a conversation with another early bird rider, someone familiar with the area... he informed me that the wind was moving in the right direction.  While we would be riding into a headwind for the first half of the ride, we were going to have an awesome tail wind for the back half, the pretty part of the ride:  the 25 miles along the Navarre beach.  By the time I went back to registration to claim my substitute registration package, I was back on track to do the full ride.

So, I finished gearing up for the ride... got my bike aired up and rolled over to the start line.  I saw another rider (in much better shape than me) sporting the exact same Trek 5000 that I ride... kinda cool, actually.  It's nice to know that my bike isn't obsolete!  The MC of the event kicked things off, and after a quick 5 minute talk, we all hit the road.  The ride started at 7:00AM.  The 62 mile route went back across the Gulf Breeze bridge back to Pensacola, around downtown Pensacola, then back across the bridge to meet up with the 42 mile route.  I had hoped that the split between the 40/60 mile route would be half way through the ride, so I could make the choice to do the 62 mile route after I had 20-30 miles under me, but due to the way the course was laid out, I had to make the call right off the bat, which means that as soon as I hit the asphalt at 7:00, I was committed to the full ride.  It's a point of pride with me that I've never had to walk my bike through a part of a ride and I've never failed to do a ride that I started, so there was nothing left for me to do but just do it.

The ride started off at a weaving through the nearby subdivision at a gentle 15mph pace.  After a mile or two of that, we hopped back on the main drag, and we headed for the bridge back to Pensacola.  I was already beginning to slow down, partly due to the headwind we were riding into but also because I knew I had to pace myself carefully or I would burn myself out and not be able to finish the ride.  So, I dropped back and took my time over the bridge, then cruised into historic Pensacola.  We road around the historic district for a bit, making our way to the pier where we hit a round-about and began the return trip to Gulf Breeze. Taking the bridge on the way back was *nice*, because the head wind I was fighting against on my way over the bridge was now a favorable tail wind... so, aside from climbing the short hill in the middle of the bridge, I made damn fine time getting back across the bay.

By this point, I had ridden about 14-15 miles, and was ready for a SAG stop.  Fortunately, even though I forgot my Red Bull or 5-Hour Energy, I did remember to snag my Shot Bloks.  If you aren't familiar with these things, they are the new Crack of the fitness world.  Imagine if you will, a pack of giant gummy blocks that contained caffeine, sugars, carbs, and electrolytes, all designed to give you a quick shot of energy and some extra fuel to keep you moving...  Now imagine they taste like candy... and came in packs of 6.  You might picture something like this in your head...



You can pick these up at most bike shops, or online... and now that I know they come in fruit punch, I'll be ordering a box of them before my next ride...  If you're interested, you can see more for yourself...  Anyway, I cracked open a bag and thew a couple back when I got to the first rest stop, and by the time I got back to the start line to pick up the other 42 miles, I was feeling better about life.

By the time I made it back past the finish line, the 42 mile pack (which started a half hour after the 62 mile pack did) had long since left the pavilion.  That didn't bother me so much, I know I was out of shape for this, so I wasn't expecting to be a speed demon.  However, that didn't stop me from feeling good about myself to run into some of the 42 mile folks at the next rest stop, and what was about 21 miles in for me.  After getting a sip of Gatorade and a quick snack, I hopped back on my bike and took off.  This was the part of the ride where I learned several things...

1. Always check your cue sheet... turns out the next rest stop wasn't for another 20 miles!
2. I hate head winds... and the next 20 miles was pretty much all head wind.
3. Never ride alone if you can avoid it.
4. Never pass up a bathroom when you're drinking fluids at about 3 times your normal rate...

I have to say... by mile 25-26, I was suffering... greatly.   I had been pulling into a head wind by myself for 5+ miles.  I had long since lost anyone I had ridden with earlier in the day, and I was having serious pacing and endurance problems.  This was largely due to not having anyone to keep pace with, so I didn't notice how drastically I was letting my speed fluctuate.  I would go from 16mph down to 10mph the back up to 14mph and so on, depending on what I was paying attention too.  Consistency is the key to an endurance ride like this, so those kinds of fluctuations are murder half way through a long ride.

Fortunately, my luck was about to change.  Just as I was cursing myself for getting out of bed that morning, I ran across a pair of hapless young ladies who had obviously gotten themselves in over their heads.  They were both riding borrowed mountain bikes (which hadn't been adjusted for them), they had 1 water bottle between the 2 of them (which was almost empty), neither one of them knew how to gear properly, they had only gone about 10 miles, got lost once already, and they were already out of steam... and the next rest stop was 12 miles away!  They were barely able to keep an 8mph average, and I was getting desperate just to have someone to ride with to keep myself moving, so I dropped back and kept them company for a bit...

The two girls were good company.  I can't recall their names (big surprise there), but they were glad for the company, especially when I started giving them advice.  Since I had 3 full packs of shock blocks with me, I took another pack out and handed it to one of them, to split between the 2 of them.  I told them how to switch gears properly, told them why they were having trouble, and made several minor adjustments in their riding style that made their lives a little bit easier.  I tried to offer them my spare water bottle, but they didn't want to take it, insisting they would be OK until the next rest stop with the little bit of water they had left between them.  We rode together like this, at around 8mph, for the next 2-3 miles.  Somewhere around the mile 30 mark, we got passed by a group of folks who were moving at a pace that looked comfortable for me, so I said my goodbyes and wished the girls good luck, then took off to catch up to the pack that had just passed us.

Turns out, this was a brilliant move on my part.  These cats were moving at about a 13-14mph pace, even in the headwinds, and were more than happy to chat with each other the whole time we were riding.  They welcomed me into their happy little pace-line without any trouble, and we stuck together for the rest of the day.  I did leave them very briefly at about mile 40... (see point 4 above), but I waited at the next rest stop and we all clipped in together and rode off from there.

My new companions were a mixed lot... we had Jamie, the 42 year old mother of 3, who I swear to god was in her mid 20s... we had Gelon, a retired CPA who was just out for fun and fitness, and we had the retired couple, Jake and Rachel, who were cruising along happily in their tandem recumbent bike.  We set off from the 41 mile rest stop together and began the climb over the Navare bridge, over to what would be beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best part of the ride... the beach!  Remember that tail wind I was talking about earlier?  Yeah, it was so very very nice...

So, off we went... our speed jumped up to a casual 16mph pace, with none of us really having to work hard to keep it up.  We alternated pulling, sometimes riding side by side to chat, sometimes single file to let traffic pass.  The beach was absolutely gorgeous, especially when we got onto the protected portion, away from all the condos and the tourists!  At one point, we passed some sort of giant kite festival, and that was all kinds of awesome.  I haven't seen kites like that since California!  Later on down the road, we passed a column of motor cycles that had to be 150-200 riders long.  We had to stop to let them pass in fact, as they were cutting us off from the next rest stop!  We actually had to turn around and ride back down a parking lot for a couple hundred feet to get to the stop, and that's when we found out just how heavy the tail wind we were riding really was!  And let me just say... I can't tell you how glad I was that we got the headwind at the beginning of the ride!

The rest of the ride was pretty easy going from there.  We chatted, Rachel took lots of pictures, I talked up RideYellow to them, in the hopes that we could ride together again then, and we all had a good time.  We were feeling so good, in fact, that we decided to cruise past the last rest stop entirely and just truck it on home.  Truth be told, I probably should have stopped, my lower back felt about ready to break, but I wasn't going to be the one to stop our momentum, so I just sucked it up and kept on moving.  More than once that day my friend Cat's mantra of 'Just keep Spinning!  Just keep Spinning!' fluttered through my head.... and keep spinning I did, right up until we rolled in to home base, at just over 63 miles.  Considering that I haven't been on my bike in 3 years, I'll take it!

Rachel was kind enough to get us a group photo of our new team, 'Team Conclusion'!

(Gelon, Jamie, me, Rachel, and Jake)

So yeah... it was great fun.  It took a lot out of me though.... I got home, got cleaned up, and crawled into bed at about 3:30pm Saturday... and did not get out of bed until 7:30am the next morning.  Gotta love 16 hours of sleep!  I also got a nasty sunburn, including raccoon face and my racing stripes (it's NOT a fucking Farmer's Tan!), but it was totally worth it!

I'm continuing my training regiment, working towards Ride Yellow.  I found that the parts of me that really hurt after the ride were my arms and hands (from supporting my upper body weight), and my ass (from sitting in the saddle).  These are things that I can't replicate at home on my exercise bike, so I'll have to start incorporating crunches and push ups, to get some strength in those areas... but even if that's all I do between now and June, I know I'll be ready for Ride Yellow this year!

Anyway, that's all I've got...  I'll post more as I get closer to the next ride!
Crash